Last year, I started designing an imaginary backyard in my head by taking notes of memories, stuffs, and other things that brought me to moments I cherished the most. I rearranged and put some things on the corner shelf to reminded me of places I have traveled to. I assembled some characters, backgrounds, and narratives to its surrounding, so I wouldn’t feel alone when I came here. I started adding some voices and sounds, so it wouldn’t feel empty when I left.
Four years ago, I run myself out to a backyard on the back of my childhood home. It was abandoned since my family were no longer lived there, but it was the only place I could have think of when I am alone. That day, I excused myself in to the backyard for two hours and cried. The bitter taste of life had just kicked me and obviously I couldn’t (and still can’t) handle failures. Although it was loud, to this day I am convinced that nobody heard me cry. Maybe it was what most people called as rock bottom, but it was too early for me, so I couldn’t agree with that perspective.
As I was crying, a set of distinctive, joyful, and soothing melodies was playing in the background and somewhat accompanying me trough one of the hardest two hours of my life. It was not an ideal scene for anyone to live through, having such a joyous instrument as banjo harmonizing with the painful sound of my failures, but apparently it was the only thing that made me feel better afterwards.
Three years after that I faced myself in a very similar situation. This time, I was in a much more vulnerable situation, and if it was not longer, it was definitely worse. To that expense, a set of joyful melodies which miraculously appeared on my backyard three years earlier also coincidentally helped me get through one of the most painful times of my life. Not only that, it also brought me to one of the happiest days anyone could have wished for. To this day I questioned myself on how a happiest day can still existed during an awful period of times, but it really did happened.
For those reasons, the person who strums that soothing melodies always reminded me of a banjo. Knowing him, I can’t remember times when he didn’t accidentally showed up and unintentionally pulled up a string or two that actually cheers me up and just like the distinctive, joyous, and soothing melodies of a banjo, he never fails to bring the brightest smiles out of people. So, as lucky as everyone else who met him, I am ecstatically grateful to be a little part of it and while it lasts, I am going to keep my ears on each and every tune he strums on.
Although this thank you note is nothing compared to what you have done for me occasionally, I wished you the happiest birthday, (and for the slightest chance it didn’t happened) I hope this writing can be a set of joyous tunes to your day.
Happy birthday, Har
The Loudest Backyard 