This afternoon I found myself heading sixteen miles south to the city – the half an hour ride brought me to this old neighborhood I left a few years earlier. Like most people, my early 20s doesn’t seem to take an easy toll on me, but who could have guessed that it actually is enough to torn apart the wonderful bricks of memories I built upon this old neighborhood of mine.
A couple of hellos from a breezy afternoon might come as a wonderful surprise as it reminded me of several things I liked about this place, but they no longer bring me the joy I once had – leaving me with the dread and uneasy feeling every time I step myself back to this neighborhood. I have got to leave.. and I have got to leave fast.
Strange as it might seem, I could barely recognized every inch of this neighborhood and most definitely: the neighbors. An awful memory I know, but forgive me – the only excuse I had is to pick up some mails which still being delivered to that tiny house by the end of the street.
Arriving ten minutes earlier than the initial appointment, I ended up turning my car to several corners around the neighborhood to simply dodge a handful amount of hellos I would probably get had I stayed for too long. Puzzled as I was two weeks ago, I have no great excuses for coffee and tea nor do I knew what she meant by mails when the current owner of the house called me to pick them up – I believe that I have updated every single item on my subscription list, but maybe I lost track.
As the storm slowly making its way out, I load a box full of a weekly lottery ticket I subscribed years ago and drive myself home. The sky and the weather seems to get heavier as I go, but my mind seems to get lighter as I thrown every single ticket on this box out of the window. None of them would have do any better for me or anyone else now as the expiration date had passed.
..so I just let the rain do its best to fight the ink out of its paper.
The Loudest Backyard 